This post is not about beaty, makeup…it’s about me, my life, my struggle. I really want to write this so others can see that they are not alone. As I said life is not easy. There are a lot of ups and downs. Everyone knows that but they still think everything is perfect but it’s not. Let me just say this, your familiy is your everything, they are your rock, your best friend, stick to them not to your fake friends!
Okey, when I was 7 years old and when school started everything was perfect, I had lots of friends and everything was just so nice. I was an athlete, very energetic, everyone called me animal becaus I was like full of energy as I said. When we got a little bit older, puberty and everything, lots of girls didn’t like me. I really don’t know why but they were. They were always mocking me, saying bad things about me that weren’t truth. Like I was with this guy and that guy at that time, but I was at home with my parents. I was in 6th grade at that time! So when they were mocking me I started to belive that there is something wrong with me. I was so sad and I feelt abandoned by everyone. I didn’t want to go to school…now the highschool!! This was the time I really didn’t give a f*** about what everyone is saying because if you do something good someone will turn it into a bad thing. One girl was calling me a hoe, a stupid bitch etc beacous I was a pro athlete (pole vault) and I could write my tests in school when I wanted to (the reason is so stupid). Because I didn’t had that much time to study, I had training 2-3 times a day + school. So when she was yelling at me and mocking me I kicked her but when everyone was watching. They were high fiving me and everything but I felt so bad about it that I didn’t went to school 3 days. After that she didn’t say a word about me. But then this girl came, talked about me, being really mean to me. They werent harassing me physical but mental! 12 years of mental harassing..Okey, let’s just stop here. You know what I found out one year ago? ( I was in my second year of college) I found out that these girls that were harassing me had a lot of problems at home, one girl was beaten by her boyfriend etc. But this is not an excuse to be mean to other girls. I was not the victim, they were. They thought there life will be better. But my life was better!
I didn’t write a lots of thigs that they did to me. I am trying to forget everything. It had left some scars on me and someone that knows me can see that, but if you don’t know me you will see me laughing, you will see the girl that is really happy but I wasn’t. It came to that point that I don’t want them to know that I’m a beauty blogger, I don’t…I’m afraid that they will mock me again. I know that that is stupid but that is a scar, everyone has one. Someday I will embrace my inner self and say f*** it, I’m a beauty blogger, read it or go home, but it’s not that easy.
But somehow I am happy today, I have my ONE best friend, she is all I need. My boyfriend is a rock for me since 2012 and my familiy is my everything.
You have to be strong and not think what everyone is saying about you, be yourself! Love your familiy!
I love you all. Thank you for following me, it really means a lot to me! I love to meat new people so feel free to contact me on instagram: startwithstyle_mua
Once again love you all!